Rhinocrisy

Through careful observation I have determined that my clothing is out of fashion. (You can stop gasping sarcastically now.) Specifically, my socks.

Apparently at some point it was determined that socks halfway up to the knees look really stupid, and now everyone has socks that extend no more than three-quarters of an inch past the top of the sneaker. If you can even see them at all: some people have “invisible” socks that only cover the part of the foot that fits inside the sneaker.

It’s annoying, in a way, because I’ve always thought I look like a dweeb with my socks halfway up to my knees, but bunching your socks up around your ankles is no better. Then you just look like Olivia Newton-John.

On the other hand, maybe I’ve reached the point in my adult life where I’m not expected to respond to fashion, anyway. I was always somewhat impressed by the fact that my school-teachers were apparently completely immune to the notion that the clothes they wore made them look like large, flightless versions of tropical birds; a separate part of me wanted to laugh at them. But now that I’m a bit older I think I can appreciate their perspective (if there was any “perspective” operating, here) a bit better. Do I really have to go and buy a whole new set of socks now that the fashionable sock-length has decreased? I’d rather shout, “Fuck, no!”, hook my socks into my garters, and join the Flightless Tropical Bird community. Next stop: combover toupee.

Alright, this isn’t news or something, but I am really really sick of this double standard between our genders that leads to such sexist comments like “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”

Newsflash to guys living in the 60s, women are not cows.

Thumbs up to Christina Aguilera and Lil Kim for “Can’t Hold us Down”

Check out the lyrics.

Excerpt:

If you look back in history
It’s a common double standard of society
The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore

I don’t understand why it’s okay
The guy can get away with it & the girl gets named
All my ladies come together and make a change
Start a new beginning for us everybody sing
…

To all my girls with a man who be tryin to mack
Do it right back to him and let that be that
You need to let him know that his game is whack

You can bet I’ll play this at my next party.

Okay, if you’ve been reading the news you knew this was coming.

Apparently some faplap at the DHHS decided that Medicare should cover obesity as a disease. This means two things:

• Since federal insurance now covers obesity as a disease, private insurers are likely to follow eventually.
  
• Now that obesity is a disease, a whole spate of treatments will suddenly become profitable.
  

An even bigger dickhead made this statement:

The Department of Health and Human Services said a first step would be a look at obesity surgery like stomach bypasses.

How in the name of God can we have arrived at this state? It’s really a sad commentary on our civilization that we can’t look this problem in the eye, and instead resort to recommending unnecessary surgery.

As usual the Onion is incredibly prescient.

Meanwhile another blow is struck for the forces of capitalism. If anyone on the stock market is paying attention, this means GSK should get valued up.

Terribly disappointing. The rest of you, as a public service, next time you see a tanker carrying high fructose corn syrup, run it off the road. GSK might go down a few points, but it’ll be worth it.