Rhinocrisy

I sincerely hope some other moronic blog doesn’t ride this Newsweek Koran-desecration flap to undeserved success. Just like in that case, the forest is being lost for the trees here. The toilet-flushing story is flawlessly true. It’s truer than Jesus. Newsweek being forced into a retraction over their sources is just misdirection. This World Socialist Web-site article has the goods. Juan Cole does it even better (also pointing out the forest itself: we are illegally detaining people in Guantanamo). Print out a copy of these, so you can stuff them in the mouths of any would-be AssRockets.

I am firmly convinced that before I shuffle off, biology will have unraveled the secret of what makes us age and die. Here is a NS article lending weight to that conviction. Rather startling to think that, instead of a hundred or so years of life, I might have to live two or three hundred. This is not a possibility I consider happily, really. Aside from the fact that I have historically been depressive (see sidebar), there is the not unrealistic possibility that the coming centuries are going to, ahem, suck the sweaty, dirty undersides of balls.

Everyone is always certain the apocalypse is coming very soon. But Jesus Christ, do we have the opportunity now, or what? I mean, thermonuclear war? We can actually DO that. We don’t even have to imagine invading armies of demons, or cataclysmic meteor strike, or another album by Good Charlotte. And what about global warming? Two weeks back GISS published a report saying the oceans are warming, and in coming decades this heat is going to rise up out of the depths like Cthulhu and stifle us. Bedouins in New England.*

This makes it all the more surprising to me that there are people who actively crave more lifespan, like the folks over at the Life Extension Foundation, or the much more serious and crazy Transhumanists over at Extropy. Especially since we already squander the considerable alotment of life we are given. What would they do with 200 more years of life? Answer: watch a whole lot more television.

So, if it were created, were I given the opportunity, would I consume boosterspice? Damn right I would. And you would, too, you liar.

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*I wouldn’t really mind living like a Bedo, I suppose - I pretty much roll with the punches, and I’d love to ride a camel and fight deadly knife-duels over access to watering holes.