Rhinocrisy

…to fool the proletariat into thinking they are affecting the world, while deeper structures remain intact. So go vote for Rhinocrisy at the Koufax awards. We are a long-shot, but I just want to get on a big beautiful ship (see below). You just scroll down to the comments, write “Rhinocrisy makes me feel all warm and fuzzy,” and then go read some of the other blogs that are probably even more deserving.

A San Francisco sports columnist writes:

Before we paint [steroid-popping home run whacker Barry] Bonds as a crack-dealing serial killer, remember that he did nothing more than gaze at a big, beautiful ship cruising by him. Aboard were countless athletes juicing up on steroids, racking up astounding statistics, showing off their biceps and knowing they wouldn’t be penalized. Bonds wanted to be on that ship. He joined a cast of thousands. If we’re looking for the real criminals of this world, let’s go check the streets.

Let’s see what we can do with this:

Before we paint former Enron Chief Executive Officer Jeffrey Skilling as a crack-dealing serial killer, remember that he did nothing more than gaze at a big, beautiful ship cruising by him. Aboard were countless executives juicing up on options, racking up astounding statistics, showing off their portfolios and knowing they wouldn’t be penalized. Skilling wanted to be on that ship. He joined a cast of thousands. If we’re looking for the real criminals of this world, let’s go check the streets.

Or how about:

Before we paint heroin-dealing serial killer Charles Manson as a crack-dealing serial killer, remember that he did nothing more than gaze at a big, beautiful ship cruising by him. Aboard were countless psychopaths juicing up on crank, racking up astounding body counts, showing off their pimped rides and hoping they wouldn’t be penalized. Manson wanted to be on that ship. He joined a cast of thousands. If we’re looking for the real criminals of this world, let’s go check the streets.