21st March 2008

Things I hate about the Internet

posted by saurabh in A Series of Tubes |

1. Spam.

2. Logging in to random websites to post comments.

There is no reason why I should have to register on your dickhead blog or news site if I want to make a casual remark. Other than to allow you to sell my email address to spammers.

3. ‘Social networking’ sites.

Probably this is because I don’t have any friends. Nevertheless it strikes me as criminal to call the sort of activity that occurs on such websites as ’social’.

4. Attention span.

The fundamental unit of entertainment has been broken down further by the advent of the video clip, now averaging less than ten minutes. (Adult Swim demonstrates that this breakdown is creeping back into other media). The half-life of memory is now probably less than a week.

5. Invisibility.

In the internet, our solopsistic nightmare grows deeper and more pervasive. Here you can be anyone, and so you are no one. Are you shouting into the void? Into a hollow bag? Into a packed amphitheater, or an empty box canyon? Does your voice have reach, and influence? Does it move anyone or anything? Are you whispering in your own ear? Who knows? But watch that hit counter go up!

6. Pretension.

On the heels of the former comes the latter - I might be anyone, and therefore I am Siegfried and Enoch and Nestor in one body. And we, collectively, are an invincible army - our words and deeds will change the fabric of history, both past and present.

7. Isolation.

It’s actually just me and my keyboard alone, here, and this unseeing eye that glares back at me.


There are currently 6 responses to “Things I hate about the Internet”

  1. 1 On March 22nd, 2008, writing’s fun’s why « the fishkettle het’troph said:

    […] other places, if i could hook into a stream that sounded how i wanted, i’d quit, because yes, this is my experience. But watch that hit counter go […]

  2. 2 On March 25th, 2008, Simmons said:

    You know what I hate being visually impaired? Sites that use low contrast font because it ‘looks pretty’. Like light blue or gray letters against a white background. Ow yeah, and make the fonts smaller and smaller so I’m scaling my sites the entire fucking day.

    Yes, I’m talking about you, the article font is doable but the right and left blue letters I can’t see for shit. Anyway I think it’s blue.

    I agree with your list btw.

  3. 3 On March 25th, 2008, BigSister said:

    Re: #2

    http://www.bugmenot.com

  4. 4 On March 26th, 2008, saurabh said:

    Haha… fair enough, Simmons. Hopefully this is better.

  5. 5 On March 26th, 2008, saurabh said:

    Bugmenot is okay, but no substitute for not shitting in the water in the first place. I like http://openid.net/ better as a solution.

  6. 6 On April 11th, 2008, hapa said:

    i used the openid ability of wordpress.com for the first time a couple days ago. it forced me to identify myself to my friend as “batucuda.wordpress.com”. no nick or nuthin. bugs!

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